The Summer of Continuous Thunderstorms - Day 48


Author's Note: I wrote this last year and never published it. I guess I didn't find it funny enough for the general public. But with everything I've experienced this "summer" so far, I think it needs to be shared finally (although I did add a few extra words).

I was privileged enough to experience a brief glimpse of something we once called "the sun" today. For 7 whole minutes, its warm touch graced my pale cheek through the window near my office desk. Squinting through the bright rays, I could make out smiles on the faces driving past. Could it be? True happiness? An emotion once thought extinct, yet, somehow present on this humid day in Wisconsin.

But, the all-too-familiar clouds quickly smothered this giant mass of incandescent gas and with it our collective grinning visages. Hopes of dog walks, bike rides, kite flying, backyard picnics, camp fires, driving with the windows down, skipping merrily towards KFC... um... anything that requires one to not get soaking wet, were gruesomely stomped with a merciless, cleated boot much like a small child's laughter brutally crushes my restful weekend naps. And afterwork naps. And beforework naps. And mid-nap naps. And Tuesday.

The clouds have since darkened in what can only be the foreshadowing of something far more sinister: thunderstorms—our daily unwelcome visitor. Like incontinence.

Sure, the local weather liars forecasters predict a 30% chance, but clearly that's a typo. Placing a "1" before that is far, far more accurate.

[...something, something moving someplace far, far away...]

But until then, I have... forget it. This sucks. I hate Wisconsin. Rage. Building. Too. Intense. Must... ... SHANE SMASH!!!! a;lskdjfadljksjkldfs haildgsads;lgh

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