In Honor of Ke$ha's Lip Tattoo...

In case you're living under a rock and/or have more important things going on in life (i.e.: your world doesn't tragically revolve around everything featured on the E! network), here is what you've missed:$ha-tattoo

But long before the haters were hating, I posted this to the Facebooks. Or whatever you silly kids are calling it these days. Enjoy.

Originally posted: January 10, 2011
I don't know what Ke$ha looks like (no MTV), but I have to assume that she's the most attractive female that has ever lived. How did I come to such a brash conclusion? Well, there has to be SOME reason she is allowed to commit auditory rape on our collective ears at such an alarming frequency. There is no way she got a record contract on vocal prowess alone. 
As sad as this sounds, and a clue as to how out of touch with today's youth I am, I honestly couldn't even tell you what her race is... or maybe I should just chalk my lack of knowledge on Ke$ha up to ignorant bliss. All I DO know is that she is a she and has the most annoying voice to ever be broadcast over radio waves. 
Update: Okay. So Tracy (my wife) showed me a picture of this "siren" and I have seen her before. Somewhere. SNL maybe? She's basically the love child of Lady Gaga mated with a howler monkey. And still... ??? (picture me making an over-exaggerated shrugging motion)... I have NO IDEA how she is in the music industry. Is face paint and a receipt for Auto-Tune™ the only prerequisite you need these days to have an album?

And now confession time. 

Sometime after I had written this, I heard a Ke$ha song on the radio that didn't make me want to instantly veer into incoming traffic. Don't misunderstand me here. Her voice is still the sonic equivalent of water boarding, but the song (something about places gearing up to explode) isn't the worse thing I've ever heard. "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp gets that distinguished honor. Followed closely by anything uttered by my personal demon, Randy Newman. Sorry, Ke$ha. Maybe if you ruin a series of Pixar movies, you can pry the trophy from Randy's horrible, horrible, sweaty fingers.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shut Up About Game Pass

Cutting the Cord—or—Charter is like Syphilis, Except There's a Cure

How I Spent My Tuesday Night